Rewriting Our “Ish-Tastic” Stories Pt 2

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Read: Rewriting Our “Ish-tastic” Past Pt. 1 Here

It’s OK that our stories are not in a neat and tidy packages.

Writing a new ending requires vulnerability first, owning the truth, and then allowing it to transform us. What I mean by that is that our stories don’t have to end when the lights go down, when the curtain swooshes to a close on that event or season of life. Just like some letters include a post script (P.S.), the “One more thought”, the “Oh, by the way” comment, our stories can include an “Oh, and….”, etc.. I love a good Post Script!

Post Scripts

This learning more about ourselves, understanding our emotions and how they play out in the world around us is HUGE, everything really. It impacts every single relationship and interaction we have with others.

Let me dissect this a little. When we revisit our stories, we can move from a place of dwelling on the past and all the negativity that it is certainly due– to understanding who we are now or who we want to become. I cannot say this enough or express this more than if I was shouting it from a mountain top: We are NOT what has been done to us, or what we have done to others, or even our environment. They shape us certainly, but that shape can be heated up (by being vulnerable enough to revisit it) and be remolded by putting our life, with all its pains and regrets…, into our Maker’s hands.

“He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; He will purify” Malachi 3:3.
This is the rewrite process. The skimming of dross from the silver that we are. Our Refiner sits until the work is done. He does not leave us no matter what garbage surfaces. He will purify us. He promises in Phil 1:6 that “He will finish the good work He begins in us”. He never gives up. He plays the leading role in our stories because our stories are a part of His greater story; part of  His greater plan.

Christ doesn’t dole out love or hope as resources to be used up. He inhabits Love. He doesn’t mete out mercy or grace. He incarnates Mercy and Grace. He doesn’t define truth. He is Truth. Love isn’t merely a thing. It is the presence of God indwelling us, pouring Himself into and through us. Peace is not a thing that God gives, but a serene abiding in Him. We rest in assurance of things to come because He is Hope. We know grace because the Spirit of Grace dwells within us” Jerusha Clark.

When we allow this beautiful truth to wash over us and to seep into the smallest, darkest parts of our stories, can we possibly fathom how Christ views us as clothed in Christ’s righteousness? Do we get a sense of the look in His tender eyes as His gaze rests upon us in our weakness, in our brokenness? Do we sense a Love that knows no limits?

It is imperative to accept this as Truth to move from a place of hiding and/shame/regret to a place where we allow our vulnerability to lead us into writing a new courageous ending to our stories. writing-828911_960_720

It is here, we move from our first responses (of hiding, glazing over the pain, ignoring, over compensating, etc.) to a deeper understanding of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is here that we write our Post Script.

My post Script

In my healing, I gained a better understanding of who I am and Whose I am, but honestly, I am still very much in progress. It has been easier to start with what I’m NOT, which eventually cleared the way to see who I AM.
I am NOT a victim.
I am NOT someone to use up and throw away.
I am NOT worthless.
I am NOT weak.
I am NOT broken.
I am NOT damaged.
I am NOT ugly.
I am NOT unlovable.
I am NOT unacceptable.
I am NOT damned

Some of these took a little longer to believe than others. In thinking about what I was Not, I needed to define who I was or who I wanted to be. To be completely honest, I had to ask the Lord to help me to both accept my identity rooted in Him and to live it out with each and every inhale and exhale. I couldn’t even ask Him for one day at a time. I needed His assurance with each breath! I have genuinely wrestled with my significance found IN Him (no one else)–This is a life long journey and as I have taken one small step at a time, I have clung desperately to the promise that God loves me. He is FOR me, not AGAINST me. If I did not believe this,  I easily would have become enslaved to my distorted thinking; and I would have decorated my invisible, safe, but oh-so-lonely cage and remained where my pain has held me.

“You will know the Truth; and the Truth will set you free” John 8:32.

I AM a Child of God.
I AM unconditionally, unfathomably loved.
I AM incomparably valuable.
I AM dearly wanted.
I AM whole in Christ.
I AM unconditionally loved.
I AM beautiful.
I AM accepted.
I Am made new.
I AM complete in Christ.

I discovered many more attributes as I began rewriting my story. But this gives you the idea. Through my experiences, I have learned Who Christ is to me. I understand more of His beautiful, gracious character. I see Him more clearly. I feel His presence. I hear His voice. I know Him. I really know Him—I was in great need and He was the only One who could meet those needs, and supply the healing I so desperately needed. My heart gushes as I attempt to put into words my love for Him. He is my happy ending. Without Him, it would just be me. And I am not enough on my own. He is my Alpha and Omega; my Beginning and my End!
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The flip side:  We can choose to stuff those emotions and all that pain. We’ve tried to, haven’t we? And we have discovered it doesn’t actually disappear. Instead, it compounds, seemingly builds up until it owns us, defines us. I know far too many adults who live in their childhoods and cannot, no matter their efforts, move forward. They are stuck. And if I can be so bold: we can only blame our pasts for what happened. We can only blame ourselves if we give it the power to hold us captive. God desperately desires freedom and not bondage for us. We need to own our stories and allow Christ to reveal the ending He had in mind the whole time. We are worth it. We really are!

“When we said yes to God, He declared our eternal victory” Jerusha Clark.


Related Posts:
“Badassery” Friendships Pt. 1
“Badassery” Friendships Pt 2
From Where I Stand
Nostalgic or Transformative; Our Stories Are Powerful

14 thoughts on “Rewriting Our “Ish-Tastic” Stories Pt 2

  1. Pingback: Rewriting Our “Ish-tastic” Past Pt. 1 | Saturated In Seattle

  2. This is so inspiring and you really translate well the love you have for people in wanting their freedom through Christ. You put your experiences down so clearly and with conviction, can say without a doubt that it was God who saved you. I am still trying to work it all out, my conversion that is, and really, it’s what my whole blog is all about. Let’s just say it didn’t happen over night! I also really like the image taken from Malachi about being melted down and reformed. I will explain it in a later post, but that was exactly a physical sensation I felt at the dawn of my conversion: melting away and dying. But I of course didn’t die, though I am even today being molded by the Holy Spirit. Thank you for putting it all out there.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh my goodness! You are sweeter than pie, Gospel Isosceles!
      I love that you are “working it all out”. Genuinely, I don’t think conversion happens over night. I think it’s a process—perhaps, a life-long one! I grew up in the church, heard it all, but did not own my faith until I was, as I like to say, “well past saving”, if it weren’t for God!
      That Malachi verse is one of my favorites for sure. It implies process and gives hope that through our struggles and pain that God is ultimately in control and working in our lives, and in the end we’ll look a little more like Him!
      I love your writings and I look forward to reading your thoughts, insights, and struggles. Together, as the Word says, “iron sharpens iron”. It’s a genuine joy to learn alongside you!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. He is FOR us, not AGAINST us…. I have to remind myself of this ALL the time. I love that you mentioned distorted thinking. I often feel like my perception of God becomes really warped if I allow it. I begin to think of Him as someone who does not want what is best for me. I have to stay rooted in Him and continually remind myself that He wants what is best for me. He will purify us. Another line that is so unbelievably comforting and wonderful. I love how to laid this out… You express it so well. VERY inspiring!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you!
      I’m really trying to live this out myself. I read a book a few years ago titled, “Taking Every Thought Captive” by Jerusha Clark (I quoted her in this post), and through that study, I learned that I need to take my thoughts to their end, evaluate them, determine if they are in fact true. Most of the time, when my feelings get all wonky, I realize I have either bought into a lie or I am allowing my fears to run my life. Neither are healthy and yet they creep in so stealthily!
      I also learned that God is so much more powerful that the stuff that has happened to us and with Him, I can write a new ending to the story. It doesn’t have to end where the pain ended. It can end in victory. It doesn’t undo the pain, but it does cause our eyes to rest on Christ and not on the shame or regret or whatever…
      Clearly, I could ramble about this all day. I’m passionate about this because I have lived far too long in what I now call the middle part of my story.
      Thank you for your kind words.
      Praying that you will continue to discover and live from this place of peace, Sweetness!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so blessed by this… Each circumstance or experience we go through, we can either choose to be bitter and allow it entangle our entire life or we can release all to God and allow Him to refine us.

    Looking back, being in the process is not easy… It takes a lot of focus, determination, perseverance and grace to see God in situations we go through…

    I am thankful to God that am still an over-comer.. the refiner is still refining me. I receive more grace amen.

    Thank you so much for this Post filled with Love. God bless you

    Liked by 1 person

    • Misggrace!
      We are overcomers! Amen! I think so many of us forget to live from this place and instead, we fall back into the well-worn ridges of that road of shame or regret. We have to forge a new path and the only way we can really do that is to keep our eyes on Christ. There are a lot of bumps in the road, a lot of distractions, so it’s easy to get off course. The good news is: Christ doesn’t give up on us! He keeps calling us back to Him, keeps whispering His love over us, and continues to refine us. Boy, am I thankful for that! Eternally thankful!
      It brings such joy to me that this post resonated with you and that we’re on this road together!
      Blessings to you!
      Karyn
      .

      Liked by 1 person

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