Silent Screams

I’ve had this reoccurring nightmare for longer than I can remember; it haunts me on a fairly regular basis leaving me in an utter state of hopelessness that extends beyond my 5:30am alarm. I’ve tried to determine its triggers, interpret its meaning, as well as have tried to rewrite the narrative and change the course …

How to Hear God’s Voice

I hung up the phone and promptly fell into a heap, sobbing uncontrollably. Unable to catch my breath, my mind raced from one tragic event to the next, spiraling deeper into despair with each scene my memory recalled. Pinned down, dark eyes, unheard cries. Cold bathroom floor, double blue lines. Forever traumatized. Escape is what …

Hearing the Voice of God: A Candid Conversation

Hey there my sweet friend! This past week my mind has been absolutely chaotic; a whirlwind of thoughts, of prayers, of research, and everything in between--and though chaotic, the topic has been centered around one thing: hearing God's voice. It's a topic that comes up from time to time with those closest to us. It's something we …

Death by Good Intentions

To watch/listen to this post: In the aftermath of the trauma my daughter has experienced in losing her unborn baby girl late in pregnancy, I find myself trying to walk along side her the best way I know how and yet as I stare into her eyes I realize that sometimes my words fall flat …

I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore

To listen/watch this post: I switch on the espresso machine and lean back against the counter as I wait for it to warm. I hear its morning hum and my mouth salivates as the minutes seem longer than usual. My daughter, here for a visit, sits at the breakfast counter; quiet. Our weeks and months …

Where Do I Go From Here?

To listen/watch this post: Broken, bruised, battered, tired, or merely lost, we’ve all asked the question, “Where do I go from here?” We look out onto the horizon and wait; the sun rises and sets day after day, season after season and we wait. We wonder; we search; we look to others for clues and …

A Video Experiement

So... for those of you who have been following my blogging journey for any length of time, you already know how entirely long-winded I am! No matter how hard I try to shorten my posts-- try to be more concise, I just can't do it. I'm still pretty new in this online realm of sharing …

How to Find Purpose in the Pain

To watch/listen to this post:   In between her violent gasps for air, as she sobbed uncontrollably, her dark eyes narrowed in on mine and she screams out, “I feel like I’m drowning” at the top of her lungs. It wasn’t a cry for help but served more like an exclamation point to the grief …

When God is Absent

When God doesn’t meet our expectations, we wonder three things: 1. Does He care? 2. Is He listening? 3. Is He real? Our tidy theology, you know, the kind that we were taught in Sunday School as young children, where we sat entertained as we watched felt board or Veggie Tale stories unfold before our …

How I’m Learning to Get Real with God

Sometimes I’m not all good with God. Sometimes I’m so damn mad, frustrated, and even disappointed in Him. I know as a good Christian girl, I am expected to keep feelings like this to myself and surrender them to Christ, let His Word calm the raging seas that threaten to devour me, and trust that …