Silent Screams

I’ve had this reoccurring nightmare for longer than I can remember; it haunts me on a fairly regular basis leaving me in an utter state of hopelessness that extends beyond my 5:30am alarm. I’ve tried to determine its triggers, interpret its meaning, as well as have tried to rewrite the narrative and change the course … Continue reading Silent Screams

Hearing the Voice of God: A Candid Conversation

Hey there my sweet friend! This past week my mind has been absolutely chaotic; a whirlwind of thoughts, of prayers, of research, and everything in between--and though chaotic, the topic has been centered around one thing: hearing God's voice. It's a topic that comes up from time to time with those closest to us. It's something we … Continue reading Hearing the Voice of God: A Candid Conversation

I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore

To listen/watch this post: I switch on the espresso machine and lean back against the counter as I wait for it to warm. I hear its morning hum and my mouth salivates as the minutes seem longer than usual. My daughter, here for a visit, sits at the breakfast counter; quiet. Our weeks and months … Continue reading I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore

The Leafless Tree

Her hands wrenching against her still swollen-- yet now lifeless belly. Mine equally wrenching against mine, where once I had nurtured her to life and held her and cradled her and dreamed all her same dreams. Dreams that had been dashed by a heart that stopped too soon. Her hands barren of ornament, mine dotted … Continue reading The Leafless Tree

Grief’s Cocoon

Alone in the doctor’s office, our silence gave way to heart wrenching cries—cries that mingled between that of suffocating grief and one of battle; a battle where our only ammunition was to hope bigger, to hope deeper and longer and wider---and to pray ceaselessly for a miracle, for the doctors to have been wrong, for … Continue reading Grief’s Cocoon

Anything Worth Having…

“Anything which gives us an opportunity to see God is worth having.” (C.H. Spurgeon) My eyes brimmed with tears as I sat with these words---I sat so long that my criss-crossed legs began to cramp and my heart moved from a place of utter turmoil and unparalleled mourning to a spirit of gladness; to a … Continue reading Anything Worth Having…

Half a Piece of Pecan Pie, Please

Calf length fur coat, oversized costume jewels and thick black curls that framed an aging beauty-- her disposition was nothing short of graceful and her words feathery soft, but it was her smile that drew me in. It was a crooked smile lined with bright red lipstick that held a sadness that a bystander might … Continue reading Half a Piece of Pecan Pie, Please

How I Overcame Fear

I’m not usually a fearful person. I can harness those lurking shadows that threaten to quicken my heart rate and rob me of my joy. I can figuratively hold fear in my hands and evaluate it; deciphering what hidden truth is being masked as something altogether different. I’ve learned to question my fear in an … Continue reading How I Overcame Fear